In the bustling tapestry of life, every person we pass on the street holds a world of their own. It's easy to get caught up in our own lives, our own dreams, and our own struggles, often forgetting that every individual is living a life just as vivid and complex as our own. In every street that we walk, every train we ride and every road we happen to drive on with others, we must remember that each passerby has a story to tell, emotions to share and a journey that's uniquely theirs.
And that’s just what John Koenig did. Spending the last seven years writing an original dictionary of made-up words, “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows”, which fills gaps in the language with hundreds of new terms for emotions. This project seeks to restore sadness to its original meaning (from Latin satis, "fullness") by defining moments of melancholy that we may all feel, but never think to mention.
Sonder (noun). The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own -- populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness - an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
I had no idea about this concept until I was scrolling on TikTok and a beautiful video of an artist capturing sonder into a simple concept came across me. Little did I know this single word would open a world of contemplation and empathy, forever changing the way I perceive the people around me.
Now every time I find myself in a metro on the way to my best friend’s house, in a supermarket or even on the bus on the way to school, even thinking of sonder proves to be difficult. I think about where people may be going and why. what people are buying and what they want to make with it or if someone amongst me gave an exam while the other just received a grade. The possibilities are endless.
Knowing about "sonder" can have several positive effects on our perspectives and interactions with the world:
Reduced Judgments: Understanding sonder can help us avoid making snap judgments about people based on surface-level appearances or actions. We become more aware that there's often more to someone's story than what meets the eye.
- Sonder can lead to a sense of connection with others. When we realize that our experiences of happiness, pain, love, and struggle are shared by people around us, we might feel less isolated and more part of a larger human community.
- Recognizing that everyone's life is as intricate and meaningful as our own can lead to a sense of humility. It can remind us that we're not the center of the universe (for better or worse) and that our perspective is just one among billions.
- We can help de-escalate conflicts by reminding ourselves that the other person has their own reasons and emotions. It encourages us to seek common ground and understand where the other person is coming from.
- Recognizing the depth of other people's lives can lead to a greater sense of gratitude for the relationships and experiences we have. It can help us appreciate the richness of life.
By recognizing the vibrant and complex stories that each person carries, we can create a world where understanding and connection flourish, ultimately enriching our collective human experience. Now whether you’re currently flying home from vacation, on a grocery run or anywhere in the world take a moment to observe the individuals around you. Imagine their stories, hopes, and fears. I’ll do the same as I start my journey to Year 11.
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